I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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