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There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
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