I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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