I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
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I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
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God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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