ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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