I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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