Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
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I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
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Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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