Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Shame is for Republicans.
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