i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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