your thong is hanging out like whoa
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize