is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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