idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
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It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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