dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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