I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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