R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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