Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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