Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize