So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize