3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
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we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
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If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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