If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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