Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
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All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
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She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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