It's a beautiful day for a hangover
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize