If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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