I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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