woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
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Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
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I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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