I can tuck mytits in my pants
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize