p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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