Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
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It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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