don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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