She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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