remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
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he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
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The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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