The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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