yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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