Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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