its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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