ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
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they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
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The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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