I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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