google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Mom said you looked used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize