There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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