He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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