My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
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Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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