Plan B is the new Plan A
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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