don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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