She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
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I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
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I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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