I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize