4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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