remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize