We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize