Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize