the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
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Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
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He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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